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2003 MEATHEAD AWARDS
Stupid Is As Stupid Does

by Judith Haney,
The one and only judge in the contest!

Meathead Michael "I was terribly bruised and man-handled during my arrest" Jackson shows off his "bruises" which he alleges are as a result of wearing handcuffs. Although his "bruises" are located slightly higher up his arm than his handcuffs were this fact doesn't seem to register with Jackson as being inconsistent with his story.

Meathead Roy "Captain America" Moore, Chief Justice, Alabama Supreme Court, is a NO-CLASS ASS with a mile-wide mean streak and anti-social personality.

Yea though he hath manufactured a crisis, attacked and humiliated his fellow justices, friends, and fellow Alabamians, causing many to turn away, he habitually embellishes his story and doeth milketh and manipulate it for personal gain at the expense of everyone else. Moore's media madness begs the question: Is there a campaign finance committee forming in the shadow of his hypocrisy?

Media Hound: Just because Roy Moore acts crazy doesn't necessarily mean he is crazy. Perhaps his bizarre behavior disguises the motives of a master opportunist bent on exploiting the media frenzy he has created as a prelude to announcing his candidacy for some higher office.

A Tirelessly Bogus Basher: His Friends In The Legal Community Are His Favorite Targets
Suspended Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore spoke to his small group of supporters in front of the state judicial building in Montgomery, Ala., Monday, Aug. 25, 2003, and accused his fellow Justices on the Alabama Supreme Court of un-Godly conduct.

With a history of high-handed, provocative behavior, Moore feared his own troops would kill him: Moore graduated from West Point in 1969, was stationed in Germany for 16 months before shipping off to Vietnam as a military police officer. His troops nicknamed him "Captain America" for his strict adherence to military regulations. "I handed out a lot of Article 15s, (disciplinary measures that do not warrant trial by court-martial) and that didn't make me very popular," he remembers. "At night, I used to take sandbags and put them under my bed and around my barrack so that if anyone exploded anything it wouldn't kill me."

It's deja vous all over again: Tormented by an apparent child-like craving for attention, Moore's professional history includes at least three other incidents of high profile fights that included mean-spirited, vicious, attacks upon his fellow lawyers and judges.

Moore left the Army in 1974, graduated from the University of Alabama School of Law in 1977, and began work as an assistant district attorney in his native Etowah County. He ran afoul of the court system because of his public criticism of the court's inefficiencies. He resigned bitterly from the DA's office over the controversy he created.

In 1997, Federal Circuit Court Judge Charles Price ordered then Circuit Court Judge Moore to remove the Ten Commandments plaque from Moore's county courtroom in Etowah County. Moore refused, sparking another controversy which earned him a high profile (free media) which he manipulated and exploited for the purpose of catapulting himself into the office of Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court.

Bankrupt in 1982, Moore has a history of instability: Moore lost a bid for a circuit-court judgeship in 1982, went bankrupt, moved to Texas to train as a professional full-contact karate fighter, and later to Australia to wrangle wild cattle as an outback cowboy.

Currently Moore is attempting to raise cash on his website. He claims he needs cash for lawyers, yet they are working pro bono. He claims he needs "hundreds of thousands of dollars" to wage his war against the state of Alabama and the United States of America.

Where will the money raised from his website end up? It is obvious it will end up in the pocket of Roy Moore. Mr. Moore isn't just a renegade jurist, he's a professional con artist playing upon the sympathies of law abiding citizens who elected him to be Chief Justice, not Chief Con Man and Lawless Jurist. Maybe a criminal investigation is in order to ferret out the underlying motives of Mr. Moore and some of his friends including Mahoney and the Schenks.

Lambda's Ethical Misconduct Complaint Against Chief Justice Roy Moore

10 Commandments Judge Thrown Off Bench

Meathead Ron D. "Dittohead" Dittemore, Manager, NASA Shuttle Program Manager.
Two or three days after the space shuttle Columbia's liftoff, a group of NASA engineers asked the shuttle program manager to request the aid of United States spy satellites in determining the extent of debris damage to the shuttle's left wing, but the manager declined to do so, a senior NASA official said yesterday.

The official said the satellites would "absolutely" have helped the engineers measure any damage to the wing's protective heat tiles from debris slamming into them about 81 seconds after liftoff on Jan. 16.

He said Lambert Austin, an engineer at Johnson Space Center in Houston, had asked Ron D. Dittemore, the shuttle program manager, in a group meeting to obtain satellite images to help gauge the damage. The request Mr. Austin made of Mr. Dittemore was to get satellites from the National Reconnaissance Office to look at the shuttle's tiles.

Mr. Dittemore turned down the request, even though Mr. Austin was also speaking for several other engineers, the official said.

Mr. Austin and his colleagues were disappointed, the official said, especially because they believed Mr. Dittemore did not have the technical knowledge of imagery to determine whether the images would have been helpful.

Mr. Dittemore would not comment to reporters, but a NASA spokesman said that Mr. Dittemore and other officials had decided that satellite images would not necessarily help determine damage.

The National Reconnaissance Office, the government's main operator of spy satellites, is chartered under the Defense Department. The senior NASA official familiar with Mr. Austin's request said that as far as he knew, Mr. Austin did not contact a department official directly and dropped his request after Mr. Dittemore denied it.

Name: Ronald D. Dittemore

Age: 50. Born April 13, 1952 in Cooperstown, N.Y.; considers Spokane, Wash., to be his hometown.

Education: Graduated from Medical Lake High School, Medical Lake, Wash., 1970; bachelor's degree in aeronautical and astronautical engineering, University of Washington, 1974; master's degree in aeronautical and astronautical engineering, University of Washington, 1975.

Career: Worked as a turboprop/turbofan engine development engineer in Arizona before joining NASA at Johnson Space Center in 1977. While at JSC, Dittemore has held several positions, including flight director on 11 shuttle missions, deputy assistant director of the Space Station Program and manager of Space Shuttle Program Integration. He has held his current position, manager of the Space Shuttle Program, since 1999.

Personal: Married to Shirley Ann Seibolts. They have two children.